Motives.

Unfortunately, I am the person that feels that need to explain myself in everything I do. Especially when I am starting something that I hope will make changes in my life..

Why would I even start a blog?

This question has been bearing down on me the past few weeks. I don't want to start something "just because". I'll give up on it as soon as I started if there's no reason. And one thing I've learned multiple times in my short life is that there will always be reason.

So here are my reasons:

Words comfort me. Putting my thoughts into sentences, organizing the clutter that I hear inside myself.. It's therapy. It gives me peace, and anyone who has been around me within the last month knows that I could use immense amount of this right now.

Without even realizing it, my life got all topsy-turvy all of a sudden. Three AP classes, a part time Hostess job, youth leadership, learning what it's like to fall in love with Christ, maintaining healthy relationships with those that are close to my heart, crippling depression, anxiety that leaves me speechless, and being a typical hormonal teenage girl. It's been a rough couple of months. I often spend too much time trapped inside my own crap. My words have escaped me. They've been stuck somewhere inside me for too long.

Let me make this sound as cliché as I possibly can: I'm on a rescue mission to find them. (Was that metaphoric enough for ya?) I used to write everything down. But, life can suck, and the things I love were pushed to the back burner. I no longer will let that happen. There is something to look forward to in every hectic day, and this will be mine.

My motives are simple: find MY words, and let them comfort me.

Maybe I'll find stability along the way. Maybe I'll find peace in the midst of chaos. Maybe I'll find joy replaced for mourning. Maybe I'll find God through it all.